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Tag: kinky dating

Top 3 Sites to Meet a Kinky Partner


Trying to meet and fuck someone kinky – especially when you’ve first discovered that you’re a kinkster – can be be a bit challenging.

Due to app store restrictions it’s hard to find a mobile app that’s explicitly for kinky people and a lot of fetish dating sites are super scammy!

So here are 3 sites to try to find a kinky partner that aren’t scammy and are easy to use!

Fetlife

When it comes to the kink community, Fetlife has essentially become the epicenter. Most people who’ve found kink have eventually found Fetlife whether that be through a partner or off a suggestion of someone in a fetish four.

Fetlife lives up to it’s name of being Facebook for kinky people. Think about it: you probably still have your Facebook account active even if you don’t use it particularly often. Why? Because it’s the only way you can connect with certain relatives and old friends from school. Plus almost every establishment, club, or bar uses Facebook events.

Fetlife is usually the only way you can contact kinky friends and acquaintances – especially if they’re private with their identity, which a lot of people are. Plus, Fetlife is one of the best and only ways to stay up to date on the events your local dungeon is hosting. Most dungeons and play spaces don’t have accounts on other sites because of the content they’re discussing!

On Fetlife you’ll find groups for certain Fetishes, groups of people within kink, or personal ads. You’ll also find a lot of location based groups that support a community of people within a certain age group (like next generation, or under thirties) and groups for vanilla topics!

Fetlife is pretty much a one-stop-shop for porn, socialization, hooking up, and finding your next kink event you want to attend.

If you a remotely serious about kink or exploring your freakier side, then I think you really need to sign up for Fetlife. Unlike a lot of niche dating apps and sites you’re not going to be charged unless you want premium content. Fetlife is totally usable on a free membership.

Connect with your local – and global – kink community with this stellar social media/porn/dating site hybrid.

Whiplr

For those of us on the move, Whiplr might be a better option. You’ll find a lot of people on this app who are looking for hookups.

If you’re looking to get together someone quickly then Whiplr might be more efficient. Because it’s location based and lists people in a grid by how close they are to you and by who’s online, you’ll be able to find someone near you in a pinch.

Unlike Fetlife which doesn’t have a mobile app, Whiplr is much better suited for mobile use. However, it will drain your battery and doesn’t have as wide as a user base.

xPost

When it comes to finding kinky people on mobile dating apps, xPost is definitely a little more easy to use and well designed. It’s much prettier and – like Fetlife – encourages people who are all sorts of kinky to sign up.

You’re going to find people who are looking to explore or dip their toe into the lifestyle, as well as people who are very experienced. Another great feature that this app has is that it allows you to sign up as a couple! So you and your partner can look for nudes and hookups around you

Fetish dating 101: 9 sinful steps to dating kinky people

It doesn’t matter how you got here! But you’re here now and you’re trying to figure out the dating scene that surrounds kink and fetish.

Here are a few tips to dating kinky people that’ll help you on your way (thought the best way to learn is by trying or by taking official BDSM tests)!

1. Understand Poly

If you’re new to the kink community, you’re going to have to learn a little about polyamory. There’s a lot of different ways to do poly and it means a lot of different things to different people, but poly in a nut shell is the desire to maintain multiple romantic and sexual relationships.

You don’t have to be okay with being poly yourself, but you should understand it because a lot of people will have a primary partner (or a few) and still date around within the scene! Definitely read up on it more, but be conscious that poly is a thing!

2. Most people are really open!

A lot of people clam up when they first get into kink. What you’ll find is that a lot of people are very open and welcoming. You’re going to meet a lot of very accepting people within the community. So, get excited!

3. …Except when they’re not open at all

While most people are extremely open about fetish, there are some people who are forced to keep it on the downlow for a multitude of different reasons. These people will usually tell you, but make sure that if you run into one of these private people in a vanilla place, don’t out them as kinky!

4. Understand trauma and boundaries

A lot of people have trauma. And when you’re playing with ropes and handcuffs and incorporating aspects of humiliation into sex, those traumas might arise. So be aware of that in yourself and with partners.

And NEVER cross hard limits. Once boundaries are set they aren’t to be pushed unless explicitly said so by the person. Pushing limits is violating consent and that’s definitely not okay. Pushing limits is not Safe Sane or Consensual (SSC)!

5. Just because they’re into something doesn’t mean you have to be

Okay, so let’s say you’ve found a partner who is really into feet. Just because they’re into that doesn’t mean you have to be. Don’t let that turn you off from getting with someone. You don’t have to incorporate every single kink into every single sexual encounter!

6. Don’t be scared of the leather! Most people are really sweet!

A lot of people are intimidated by all the leather and the dark clothing. But you shouldn’t be! A lot of people in the community just look intimidating!

Some of the sweetest most understanding people are also the people who have a thousand tattoos and dress in the most intense way.

Just because someone looks like they can kick your ass, doesn’t mean they will (unless you ask them to politely).

7. Beware of hyper-masculine Dom types

These guys are usually really fucked up and violate consent all the time. Don’t get intoxicated by all the testosterone. Be wary.

8. Fetlife is almost a necessity

If you’re just starting out you’ll need to get on Fetlife! That was the best decision I ever made. Fetlife will help you connect with the community!

9. There are plenty of kinksters in the sea

Don’t get discouraged if something doesn’t work out and don’t hold on to a relationship for the sake of the sexual chemistry. There will be another person who will have the same kinks and will treat you infinitely better! Remember that you always come first!